Because You Said So
by hurg
Summary: Sad in your own little sick world, are you?


I know indeed what evil I intend to do,

but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury,

fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils.

-Euripides

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Because You Said So.

_Voices of the Nations_

I.

**Prussia**

Hey! Look, I know you're kinda down and out right now, but... But, well, I'm awesome, so I can help!

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**United States of America**

...

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**North Italy**

VE! How are you? I know you've been a little upset since that huge accident. Want to be friends? Ve?

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**Spain**

Something's wrong at home, no time.

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**United Kingdom**

I don't trust you. I don't _want_ to trust you, and I'll have you know I have a voodoo doll of you right at home if you try any funny business.

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**France**

Salut, mon ami! Ça va aujourd'hui?

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**Austria**

I really want to. You want to. Why be so difficult right now? I- No! I didn't write those cards myself, I swear, you war mongering ingrate!

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**Prussia**

Hey, I- What's that look for? Got something against your new boss or...

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**Greece**

Sometimes I wonder how a country can be made out of such bad thinkers.

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**Hungary**

I agree with Austria. N-no! It's not because I always agree with Austria; what are you insinuating?

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**South Italy**

Touch my brother and you die.

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**Austria**

Nonsense, what's wrong with Nietzsche? Brilliant philosopher.

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**Soviet Union**

You can still become one with Russia, you know! It's never too late!

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**Greece**

Because, in all honesty, there are good thinkers-Socrates, Plato-and there are bad thinkers.

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**North Italy**

VE! How are you feeling today? Huh? Oh, pasta'll turn that frown into a smile!

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**United States of America**

Hey, uh, yeah. You're making me kinda nervous.

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**Japan**

Maybe we can work together. We each have a common goal. Even Italy.

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**Poland**

Hey, like, what's up with you and that scarf-dude? Bein' all buddy-buddy and eying me all the time? You, like, got a crush on me or something? Because, girlfriend, you're just not my type. Like, sorry.

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**France**

O-oh! _Mon Dieu_, I do not want to...to anger you, _mon ami_. Um... _Oui_, you may have the designated area and- Yes, yes, I gave Italy that part of Africa, yes...

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**United Kingdom**

We're kind of frowning down on you right now. Clean up your act, or else... Or else... Well, um, you're...

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**Belgium**

You're breaking the Treaty of Versailles right now.

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**United States of America**

Stop it.

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**Prussia**

Aw, don't listen to 'em! They're just jealous.

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**Austria**

What do you mean, he's wrong?

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**Denmark**

Get away.

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**Finland**

Please. Get away.

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**Soviet Union**

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koлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoлkoл

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**Belgium**

You scare me.

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**South Italy**

I keep telling my brother to get the _hell_ away from you, you Goddamn bastard. You're not right, you're utterly mad, you driveling maniac, you freakin' Schu-

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**United States of America**

Stop it.

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**Finland**

_Please, _get away.

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**Prussia**

So, you annexed me. Wow.

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**North Italy**

Your _boss_? Ew, why the hell would I want to even _think _about him, let alone talk to him? Ve~...

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**United States of America**

I'm warning you.

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**Japan**

I have a plan. Don't worry.

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**Turkey**

Aw, you never _met_ a real man!

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**Ethiopia**

...

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**China**

Don't come here, aru. I'm having enough trouble with that genocidal militaristic demon whom I have raised myself.

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**Prussia**

Just. Wow.

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**Berlitz**

(You are not happy. Why are you doing this if it makes you not happy?)

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**United Kingdom**

Disobeying a few strict guidelines we set up to keep you in order after that mishap and... Yes, well... I don't want any trouble, now, so... A compromise, perhaps?

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**Spain**

Still busy. Own problems, confusing. Leave me out of it.

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**Prussia**

I don't think I like your new boss anymore.

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**Finland**

Out! Get out, get out...

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**United States of America**

The Tripartite Pact was a mistake. 'Cause I warned you. You make me scared now. You know what my people are being told about you? You know what they're doing to your people who you have placed in my custody?

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**Australia**

My soldiers are the best, you know. And I'm going to get you. And I'm going to kill each and every one of your spineless 'soldiers' because this is war and war it is. Surely you knew that before jumping in.

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**United Kingdom**

Um, Poland, is... Well, I draw the line at Poland.

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**France**

Poland! No, I draw the line there.

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**United Kingdom**

_I declare war on _

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**France**

_I declare war on_

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**Prussia**

Shut up! Shut up, do you _see_ what's going on? This...this isn't what I meant! This isn't honorable, and you know it isn't! You know, so why...why are you...

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**Spain**

Whatever 'it' is.

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**United States of America**

...We're putting them in _camps_, you know. Well, probably not as bad as the camps you put your own (within your custody, of course...right?) in.

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**Austria**

Well, of course. Jesus was not Christian; he was Jewish. Of course. Now why...?

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**Ethiopia**

I don't like you two.

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**China**

What about your caretakers, aru? What did you do to them?

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**North Italy**

...Ve... Are you okay?

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**United Kingdom**

I've never seen these war tactics before. What do you call them...?

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**Switzerland**

Get away. Stay away. Never come here.

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**Soviet Union**

So moronic! How charming! You thought you could launch such surprise attacks and yet you fail each and every time! Are you suicidal, suicidally stupid, or suicidally determined?

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**Aster**

(You are sick. You cough and bleed and you smell so sad. Sickness reeks from you. You smell of starvation and fire and strange badness and _death_. How are you yourself not dead, Master?)

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**United States of America**

The camps are cramped and bothersome. They're really targeting the Japanese. I... I wonder what your camps are like. I hear bad things. Scary things. But, nations don't treat their peoples, _other nations' peoples_, like that. No, no!

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**Soviet Union**

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**United States of America**

...

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**France**

Please leave me alone! _Tout seul_! That is what I desire. All alone, no frightening men with eyes of cold fire burning my buildings and killing my families and snapping the cords of my Eiffel. I hated the thing, hated it, hated it, but this... Oh, this makes me feel so... so...

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**United States of America**

...

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**France**

You ruined it.

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**North Italy**

Because I believe in a new Roman Empire, of course! That's why I want to take over the world, ve! When we're all Roman again, maybe...maybe there'll be peace. Maybe! But why are _you_ taking over the world?

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**Austria**

'God is dead.' You say this is disturbing. Well, to quote him as well, 'do not fight with monsters, lest you become one.'

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**China**

I thought as much.

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**United Kingdom**

"Blitzkrieg." Interesting.

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**United States of America**

Oh my God.

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**Austria**

You say this is true. Perhaps, but it is philosophy. Friedrich Nietzsche is harmless, have no concerns. Enlightenment for the absentminded. For people like Italy.

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**North Italy**

Well, that's real interesting, I'm sure, but what does 'Aryan' have to do with it? Ve...

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**United States of America**

They're worse than the rumors, they're...

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**North Italy**

Oh, I know! 'Aryans!' The original Indians down on the quaint little subcontinent in Asia. Ha ha, I'm so smaaaaaart~!

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**Hungary**

I'm joining the Tripartite!

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**North Italy**

Not that simple...?

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**Greece**

A lot of your people are bad thinkers.

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**North Italy**

i ' m d e c l a r i n g w a r o n y o u .

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And then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then the WAR

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**Germania**

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**Germania**

You disappoint me.

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II.

**United States of America**

Hey, there! How are you feeling? Kinda crummy? Well, they didn't let me have a say last time (though in _my opinion_, Wilson was right!), but now I do and we're going to fix you right up.

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**Soviet Union**

You can still become one with Russia, you know! It's never too late!

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**United Kingdom**

I don't like you.

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**Greece**

Sometimes I wonder how a country can be made out of such bad thinkers.

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**North Italy**

...

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**Prussia**

That left wing bastard's taking me away, taking me away, and it's _all your fault_.

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**Belgium**

I want to forgive you, I really do. But...

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**France**

Je deteste toi.

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**Poland**

Like, why the hell did you do that? I think it's totally fair I take some of your turf because, like, that was horrible. You burned it all, you killed them all. You, like, almost totally killed me, you know?

**Hungary**

Satellite country? I don't know. Know... Um... What you're talking about. Poland, Pru- East, and myself are _not_ satellite stems for communism.

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**Greece**

Sometimes I wonder how a country can be made out of such bad thinkers.

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**North Italy**

... Hey... It's me...

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**Prussia**

S-satellite country? No! I'm the German Democratic Republic, thank you very much!

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**Soviet Union**

What do you mean, I want a weak country? It's not cruel-far from it. I simply do not want you to raise your war mongering head.

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**Bulgaria**

Quite the track record. Not even a century old and yet you're responsible for the only two World Wars in history of the Earth. Which is over forty-six thousand million years, by the way.

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**United States of America**

In fact, I'm 85% half-way done!

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**Soviet Union**

... ... ... ... Excuse me, but what was that?

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**United Kingdom**

And I don't trust you.

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**Belgium**

Have you ever?

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**North Italy**

Open up? ...Please? Ve...

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**Macedonia**

You make me nervous.

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**Belgium**

Looked upon someone and not considered how you would use them or they you? Have you ever just looked at a person and seen a man, a woman, a child?

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**Luxembourg**

Everyone ignores me! Don't you think I feel a little claustrophobic, huddled between you and France and Belgium all the time?

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**Spain**

I... I... Um, your dogs are cute.

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**Poland**

And that's, like, totally _not_ cool.

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**Bavaria**

We're never going to heal from this.

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Cana-** Who?**

I'm Canada, eh! Stop looking around like that voice just came from nowhere!

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**China**

We used to be friends, aru. Long, long ago. When the Westerners were trying to dominate me, you tried to be an equal, you tried-

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**Japan**

We lost. So why are they helping us to our feet?

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**Austria**

Hello. Now, if you will excuse me, young sir...

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**Denmark**

You're lucky we're stuck together. ...Or maybe not.

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**Greece**

I pity you.

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**Poland**

You're just like that jerk-off of a brother, you know that? Always wanting things and, like, never contributing to the rest of the home team, you know what I'm saying? It's like, O.M.G., we all think you're such a _loser_.

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**Soviet Union**

Something about not wanting to be one with the Motherland?

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**Spain**

'Don't want to address' you, that's silly. Nah, your dogs are just cute and I have to go immediately-never mind I just arrived, look at the time! Southern Italy's waiting for me and...

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**Ukraine**

...Are you okay...?

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**China**

...to be different.

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**Prussia**

Shut up! Leave me alone! I'm _**blocking you out**_! Even if I need some big wall to do it, I will, damn it! Stop taking my citizens!

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**Denmark**

Kraut.

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**North Italy**

Let me in, will you?

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**Latvia**

H-hate S-Soviet Union? N-n-no, sir! I-I-I d-d-don't h-hate him. N-nope...

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**Bulgaria**

You make your mother so proud, I'm sure.

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**United States of America**

Hey! What's up? Huh? What's that look for? Come on, I'm just trying to help you! I'm the Hero, after all!

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**Soviet Union**

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**.**

**North Italy**

Please?

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u n t i l t h e ** w a l l **

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III.

**Greece**

You are a person.

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**France**

_Mon cher,_ how _interessant _of you to join us _ce soir_. I thought you were locked in _votre pièce_, oui?

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**United Kingdom**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**North Italy**

...

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**Russia**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Turkey**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Austria**

Let us keep diplomatic.

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**Spain**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**China**

Let's keep diplomatic, aru.

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**North Italy**

...

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**Japan**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Greece**

Think of yourself as one.

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**France**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**United States of America**

-! Not going to really help me in the war? No more wars? Come on, you used to be cool!

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**Russia**

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**Prussia**

Well.

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**Hungary**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**North Italy**

...

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**Belgium**

Hey? Is there anyone in that head? You-who?

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**Iceland**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Taiwan**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**United States of America**

Fine. 'Let's keep diplomatic.'

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**Luxembourg**

I feel so small next to you. (Don't hurt me.)

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**Poland**

Do you, like, know how looong this perm took, galfriend? Like, O.M.G., you are _impossible_. And, like, no, I _still_ don't forgive you.

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**United Kingdom**

If you think for even a instance, however, that _any one of us_ has forgiven you, then you are sadly mistaken.

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**North Italy**

...

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**Prussia**

I tried. I really did.

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**Denmark**

Kraut.

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**Greece**

Then you may start to respect yourself.

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**Finland**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Switzerland**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Russia **

Let's keep diplomatic!

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**Spain**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**North Italy**

...

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**France**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**United Kingdom**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**China**

Let's keep diplomatic, aru.

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**Japan**

Let's keep diplomatic.

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**Austria**

Let us keep diplomatic.

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**North Italy**

...Let's keep...diplomatic...

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**Prussia**

To be good to you.

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**United States of America**

Crossing my fingers? Naw, that's...a tradition in my country of...promise!

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**Greece**

And when you respect yourself, you will respect others.

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**Bavaria**

It makes me sick. Sad. Scared. It's never going to be the same, it's never-

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**Third Reich**

I'm not going away.

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**South Italy**

-tzstaffel.

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**Rome**

YOU RUINED IT, YOU RUINED IT, GERMANY. YOU RUINED IT. YOU RUINED IT.

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Deutschland.

I think you made a mistake somewhere down the line.

With Love,

Heiliges Römisches Reich Deutscher Nation.


End file.
